Infinite

I don’t want these feelings to go away,
the fire I feel kindling and the elation
my soul is radiating—a sense of home
settling inside wide horizons—a place
where we become more alive in dreams
and reality seems to match the sunrises,
I won’t always see the beauty I hold
but I hope I can always feel it in the way
you look at me. These are the things
I wish upon stars for and where my hope
and strength lies, because after all
I’ll continue to search for my someday
until I find myself living inside those
very feelings of intimacy—

I gave him a piece of my soul
and suddenly I want to drink
every ounce of him in—

I’m standing in the middle
of the street, in the pouring
rain, my cheeks drenched
in salt—

How can the earth
be so quiet when
my whole world
just changed—

My skin has never
felt this soft, vibrating
with every breath,
my lungs unsure
how to continue breathing—

My choice sits on my shoulder
and my heart rests in
the comfort of that memory—

I stepped back and placed
my hands in my pocket
because the more I reach
the more I lose control
and this time has to be different.

emphesis

it was fire we danced inside
burning our skin and we melted
together, he took every
touch and kissed where it hurt
in the slow rhythm of the fire’s
flames and soon the tame beast
awoke from it’s slumber
and that night the innocence
died and left where I’m standing
is questions of what proceeds
after such an adventure—

He changed the way my skin felt
and the way it draped over my skeleton.

I will teach my children

I will teach my children the definition
of decency and help them understand
humanity and that we are our own
set of skin and bones with a heart
that beats to it’s own rhythm and every
action will not affect the multitudes
and every response will not shatter
the earth:

I will teach my daughters that they
are not defined by what is in between
their legs and underneath their shirts,
they can radiate hope or static and 
they’re given soft hands to offer to
strangers and that’s will be best part
of being a part of this world:

I will teach my sons that their strength
becomes them, in any form they choose,
that their ability is not based on the statistics
in sports and locker room talk but by the
way they treat women and men and when
someone needs to be lifted up from the dirt,
they take them in their arms and set them
upon solid ground:

I will teach myself now, that I am not
defined by my labels but by my heart
and my heart is only mine and only
mine to offer to every passing need
and my happiness is not dependent 
anyone but me and I am allowed
darkness, as long as I remember
the light I carry inside myself.

misplaced hope

the unexpected lies in our veins,
covered by expectations pressed 
into our skin from birth—ideals of
how to be and who to be with 
direction of when and where,
and we’ve allowed to become
defined by what society has
labeled—and the only direction
this is headed, is chaos in ruins
and we’ll be flooded in our own
destruction as ash takes over oxygen

I’ve wished upon stars

I’ve wished upon stars
and I’ve wished upon galaxies
but no matter how many times
I wish, I wish in vein, I wish
with wasted breath and what
was held down by hope, now
gleams in the hopeless, because
when I look into glaring mirrors
I see the void of what was once
beautiful in the pits of my eyes.

don’t be a fool, girl
you may not be meant for this world

not in the way you desire
nor in the way you dream

your purpose is still blank
your hopes have been wrong

step back and become
mute

everyone is tired
of all those tears.

There’s a stutter in my ears of reality
and expectations, my hopes and dreams
have ridden in from the horizon as if
they are just beyond my reach,
and I’m sitting in stagnant waters of
uncertainty as patience bucks me off
the saddle. How do you use words
without talking and how do I send
off signals without being detected?

I have no idea what’s happened to you and I have no idea what to think. So I stopped thinking. I pushed you far outside of my mind as I possibly could because it hurt too much to begin to think of either of the possibilities I began to imagine. Both of them squeezed my heart tight. Either you were dead or you decided it was easier to fall away from the thoughts of us to continue to talk to me. Both of those explanations ended in the same result, me without you. I reluctantly moved on. I imagined the potential of our love story to be epic and unique with equal parts of selfish and selfless. I believe some people are only a short time to be alive in our lives and maybe that’s all it was. You showed me the way I could possibly fall in love, you made it more tangible than I had ever experience before. I think about you sometimes still and my guts don’t wrench out of my stomach and my heart doesn’t tear into shreds. I never wanted to say goodbye to you, but we don’t always get to pick the way our journey’s take us.

dream

every chance I am allowed
to dream, I dream, no matter
how far I run in search
of the love I desire, the 
adventure I crave, because
dreaming is what keeps my
soul contained in my bones
and my heart fluttering alongside
the butterflies we send away with
our wishes, I will dream until
I am no longer allowed to dream
and my ashes are sent off in the wind
with tearful regrets, but at least, 
I can rest knowing, I dreamed
and I taught how to dream.

anticipation

how do you fair when the world
had proven to turn dark at every
corner and you want to hold onto the
hope you’ve remembered from
before, it takes one person to
shatter the mirror, but after a whole
village has shattered every mirror
you glance into, how do you keep
trust in humanity that someone 
will hold your fragile heart with
caution and love? You remain
expecting that God will hand
you the dreams that are written
on your skin, that every experience
leads you closer and closer to where
your constellation of stars lay. 

Tomorrow

If tomorrow could be my design:
it’d begin in the sunlight & end
under the moon. It’d spring awake
with coffee & fall asleep by tea.
It’d create in me & be concluded by
you. Tomorrow is my design inside
the rising sun; with open eyes
& my full heart; as I find my way.

Hanging in a luxurious hotel room with a king bed just for me after an incredible meal.

Timestamp: 1404957910

Hanging in a luxurious hotel room with a king bed just for me after an incredible meal.