It’s not enough:
stay with me.
I want you to be
with me in the dark,
to come right to the
edge and see what’s there.

Because I’m a bunny today.

Timestamp: 1397942062

Because I’m a bunny today.

Brunch in bed with friends.

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Brunch in bed with friends.

I don’t know what’s going to happen. I sometimes don’t want to know what’s going to happen. I feel like even if I knew what was going to happen I wouldn’t even realize it was happening.

It just amazes me how one thought can feel like eternity and eternity will feel like one thought.

republicofthebees:

oxygenated blood and her lips
the taste of color
the color of heat
Prometheus did not give this fire to [wo]man
this is red
this is stolen

This woman has me clenching my stomach from the wildflowers she plants in my ribcage with her words.

stitches

we are like a notch
in the wood work of
an old home, weathered
with time and the faded 
floral wall paper that holds
memories of generations,
we are hearts sewn together
a thousand times because
our humanity is fragile—
and just as the dust
of the earth kicks up
in the winds, our legends
last as long as we’re spoken
about until we’ve vanished
from lips laced with love—
a permanent marker
isn’t even permanent but
love always leaves a mark.

To tell you the truth. My skin makes me sad. I’m tired of dealing with acne at 25 yrs old.

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To tell you the truth. My skin makes me sad. I’m tired of dealing with acne at 25 yrs old.

I feel misplaced—
my corners sharp
and toes barely
hanging off the
edge, and the world
spun (a whirlwind
kicking up the
dust of the earth)
I realized I could
fall at any moment
and I wasn’t yet
given my wings.

I search too hard for validation. For some kind of clue that just maybe, I am worthy. I’ve etched the clichéd ‘be well’ lines and excuses on the back wall of my mind, I can recite them by heart. Phrases that are suppose to magically allow me to feel better when they only make the corners of the world press deeper into my shoulders. I can feel the leering and watchful eyes examining me. I know myself well; I feel my emotions, you just see them. I experience my thoughts, dreams, fears, hopes, desires, and shortcomings on the inside and racing through my veins, you only hear about them. The person I find staring back at me through the mirror seems so different than the person you see through your eyes. I know every curve of my skin and the stories of my scars and how my heart breaks and aches. And oh, how it aches, a deep, dull, soft and jagged sensation of longing I cannot contain nor explain. I’m aware of myself and that means I’m unaware of the essence enclosed inside the ribcage that rises and falls within you. We don’t like being left defenseless and dealing with a sense of a hopeless feeling. When darkness envelops you, don’t forget that darkness doesn’t exist and when a coldness curls itself around your soul, but the cold doesn’t exist either. Darkness is only the absence of light and coldness in only the absence of heat. That’s when you need to take it upon yourself to explore your atmosphere and find a way to light and heat.

I know I’ve felt your hands before, the weight
of the beauty that lingers in your fingers—
wet with the sea and stained with ink
from words that dripped from your lips.
I know you, your sorrows packed into
boxes on the top of your closet but
dust never touches the cups in your
cupboard — you’ll hang from my heartstrings
for eternity and turn into love in my imagination
dressed in my fantasies, and one day you’ll
be my ghost —

I dreamt of wishing wells and
and a pocket full of brand new pennies,
never before spent— and sitting on my lips
were three wishes—the first wish for you,
the second wish belonged to humanity,
and the last wish was that I could
feel half the beauty I see in
so many hearts that surround me.

I need to take my own advice.

Anonymous:
What makes you wake up each morning?

Yesterday is in my past already and I have a fresh day, a new start. We choose what we do with our day, how we react, what would we say, how we treat other people, the affect we have on them. We’re going to have bad days and sometimes terrible days… or even a string of days where it just feels like someone pushed you into a hole that’s full of mud and you cannot climb out. I’ve felt like that lately. If we think that happiness is the end destination… we’ll be wandering for a long time, lost, always looking for something ‘better’ or think we’re searching for something we possibly may never find. Happiness is a choice, it’s the journey, it’s a conscious decision to take the lemons (to be clichéd for a moment) that life handed us and buy sugar and fill a pitcher of water and make lemonade. You’re going to get out of life what you put into it… life isn’t always going to be on your side and it’s hard to remember that there are 7 billion people out there who experience their own mountains and valleys in a personal way. We’re all fighting through the weeds looking for the flowers, we all want a good life and sometimes we’re going to work our asses off to achieve that and we’re going to feel like we’re going nowhere fast,  but look around, do you see the beauty that hangs in the atmosphere around you? I think the most generous thing about life is that we’re not expected to be perfect.

Sometimes I feel so dissatisfied. It’s not even that I’m unhappy. I just feel unsettled, deep down I’m trying to claw myself out of these expectations the world has tangled into my skin.

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Sometimes I feel so dissatisfied. It’s not even that I’m unhappy. I just feel unsettled, deep down I’m trying to claw myself out of these expectations the world has tangled into my skin.

We live universally—
fighting our own verison
of the same battles
(where war wages on
uncertainty and excuses).
We are bound by
humanity (stitched
with flaws and expectations)
and soaked in good intentions
(like keroscene, ready to set
fire to the fields we dance in)
and we ache alone, as if
we are the only ones
who feel this kind of pain
because it feels personal,
radiating poison through our
veins as we stumble our way
towards the horizon praying
to be found by something more
than what we’ve been offered.